I’m about as happy as blind poof in a hotdog factory

I’m about as happy as Pig in shit

I’m about as happy as a termite in a lumberyard

I’m about as happy as a beatific bundle of blissfulness.

I’m about as happy as a nun in a cucumber patch.

I’m about as happy as a crack addict

Just been for a run and now I'm sweatier than Darth Vader in an S&M store

Just been for a run and now I'm sweatier than an average american who just walked up the stairs

Just been for a run and now I'm sweatier than a blind lesbian in a fishmongers

Just been for a run and now I'm sweatier than an orgy at weightwatchers. In a sauna.

Just been for a run and now I'm sweatier than a peodophile in a Barney suit!

Just been for a run and now I'm sweatier than some overworked and underpaid alphabetty spaghetti stored between sweaty betty's dirty bellows